Are You in a Tug-of-War with Yourself?

I’ve been sick for the last week. It wasn’t on the plan.

I know that fighting against it doesn’t work, so I let myself rest.

And then I noticed an impatience with the healing process. I noticed a desire to brush off how I was feeling physically – to say I was feeling fine – to deny where I was.

I was trying to move out of the reality by ignoring it to get to my desired change.

This only created dissonance.

When I paused long enough to feel into my experience, to consider what was going on, I could see it quite clearly.

I saw that I was fighting against the reality by denying where I was. In doing so, I created an urgency to get well which was really just more fighting against the reality.

I was in the idea of things being either/or. Either I’m sick or I’m well.

I was forgetting the Both/And Principle.

The Both/And allows for where you are and for the desire for where you want to be. It acknowledges and appreciates the experience.

I am sick and I want to be well.

It doesn’t embroil you in it, but releases you from fighting it. It creates space for both, for a path forward, while being where you are in each moment on that path. There is peace here in the Both/And.

I compassionately see the either/or come up in my clients as well.

Either I’m stuck or I’m exactly where I want to be.
Either I’ll always act this way or I will be the exact opposite.
Either I’m confused or I have complete clarity.

When we apply the both/and principle, things begin to shift for them .

 I feel stuck right now AND I’m going to begin to move where I want to go.
 I sometimes act this way AND I want to do things differently.
 I’m sometimes confused about what’s next AND I am going to try new things to figure it out.

Both/And eases the fight, promotes peace, & stimulates change.

With love,

Kathryn